2 years later......Life is almost back to normal.

Back to flying again

Hi Everyone,

Its been a long while since I penned my thoughts. So what have I been up to till now. Well, let me share the timeline since Dec 2012. Post treatment had its challenges, mainly eating or rather enjoying this and a severe dry mouth. The taste buds are still cross-wired and the only taste that resembles "true" is sour. So salad with fresh dressing is a real joy for me to eat. The taste that is horribly cross-wired is sugar. Infact I have begun to dislike this taste. So birthday cakes, chocolates, ice creams and fruits are all off the eating list. Besides this, due to the dry mouth, rice is just horrible in my mouth. Infact I can't recall when was the last time I consumed rice. Soup and salad is the main palate. Spicy food is off the list as well. The lining of the mouth is still raw after 2 years.

I have gained at least 10 kg since my post treatment and this weight gain is mostly from eating salad, soup and coffee (tea has an acidic taste in my mouth). I have gone back to playing golf on a regular basis and playing pretty good at that.

The post health regime is basically 3 pronged & its divided into 6 monthly checks.

• PET Scan, 
• Dental 
• ENT.

The main-stay is the regular PET scan. The cost of this highly sophisticated radioactive procedure is now manageable. The initial scan was $2000RM and every subsequent scan thereafter is 50% off. So wow! Thats affordable. The clinic is at Bangsar called Austral Diagnosis and Dr Raymond is the man there. Basically a radioactive dose of glucose is injected and after a period of ingestion, a machine is used to scan the body picking up high dosages of glucose concentration in the body. The theory being cancer cells have a higher uptake of glucose than normal cells. So if there any cancer it will be painted shades darker than normal cells.

The ENT is a regular 6 month checkup to see if there are any early symptoms of recurrence. The neck muscles have really hardened due to the radiotherapy. So a regular massage help keep the that area supple and flexible. So far it has been good news.

Dental is the biggest collateral damage through this treatment. The teeth had become serrated like a saw blade. The picture here shows how much my teeth had eroded. Both the top and bottom teeth were badly damaged. All in all 14 teeth were affected.

Before the dental treatment.

After the dental treatment.

The dental treatment was done at the University Hospital PJ. My deepest thanks to Dr Mazian for her great help, expertise & working on her "day off" to fix my teeth. This is a 6 monthly check up. I have to live with this knowing that all my teeth will eventually erode.

The next round of check up is in OCT 2014 including my aviation medical.

Till then cheers to everyone and thank you for reading and giving support.

Got my licence back today !!

          At last the official document got stamped and it read licence valid till 30.04.2013. That's it folks ! I am back making a full circle in 11 months. Its is exactly 8 months from my last chemo ie on the 12th March 2012. In reflection it seems like a short journey. So sometimes I reflect back and ponder where I made the right moves and  how this can help others.
          Firstly the awareness of my physical self was paramount in detecting something is not right. Not wasting any time in dwelling that this could be something insignificant and dilly dally or perhaps not facing the reality and rather staying in denial mode. I faced it square on the jaw and the speed that it took from detection to treatment was only 5 days. This confounds me sometimes - the light speed. I guess I had good advice from my brother Dr Azeem and Dr Kat. The other was the positive attitude I adopted. On the first day of chemo I took the camera and recorded the event, just like a tourist taking pictures at a new destination. It was in many ways exciting that I was going thro chemo and radiation. Well this was the mental preparation that I did to face the adversity...... treating it like a tourist visiting the "hospital" for the first time and getting excited and recording the events.. Another factor was the faith I had, that I will make it at the end. Luck was also on my side I guess as the staging was only 2 and the nodes were not affected. The rest was great family support and good friends who cared.

 

At the simulator after finishing my training.

        So what message do I have for anyone reading this blog and making the same journey as I. "NEVER GIVE UP HOPE...NEVER". Post treatment, keep yourself busy physically and mentally. I did gym & swimming every day from 9 am till 1 pm for 5 days a week for 6 weeks until the London Olympic 2012 came round and upset the routine. Mentally, I worked on preparing a CRM manual and developing training courses. So any thing to keep you busy is great advice. An idle mind is the devil's playground...so is the saying. One can so easily dwell in negative thinking and believe me, it doesn't take much effort. Play golf every day, yes every day !! Thank the Almighty for his mercy on me and giving me the courage to fight this dreaded stuff. Thank you all for reading and following me so far. Till another update, bye for now...Love to all  Shakil

My Medical...at Last

            This has been the day that I have dreamed of. The day I will regain my lost medical licence. 10 months has since passed and my word, how fast it has been. Its was as if just the other day that I was visiting the hospital's radiation therapy, for daily dose of radiation and now I am in a hurried haste to get prepared for flying duties.

Wing to fly

          Last week I was in Sydney to attend Christine's nieces' wedding and to relax and put in some rounds of golf. It was also some time to catch up with really old friends in Sydney ( I had studied there some years back...1969 to be exact ). When I landed at the KLIA and switched on my phone, the usual blasts of SMS poured in from Maxis. As I was walking towards the immigration, one SMS stood out. Its was from Dr Jagdev, the head of the DCA medical board. I scrolled down to the messages and selected to read. The message was short sweet and to the point " DCA Medical Board today revalidated your license. Jagdev" Wow ! What a day to behold ! Yippee !!. At last, the wait was over and I have been through the full circle. I am back to where I started 10 months ago. Now the real hill climb begins as I begin preparing for my simulator checks, practical handling of the aircraft and actual line flying. Just like a bicycle or windsurfer, once you have the flying skills it remains with you for a lifetime, albeit a bit rusty, thats all.

Me and Chooi

           I took my uniform out of the wardrobe and looked at it again. Mmm..the shirt looks oversized and the pants look too wide. I don't think I can keep the pants on the hips, they just slip down all the way to the ankles. Wow! I do have a problem. My waist size is reduced from  38+ in to a 34+ in. So hurriedly, I took the pants to the tailors to get it readjusted, a major alteration was required. The 20 kg weight loss since the treatment started now showed its unexpected results.
          Hari Raya Haji is tomorrow, and today could not have been any better. I am blessed by the Almighty in many ways. To the many friend, relatives,  loved ones, strangers and anonymous, I thank all of you for the unwavering support, I MADE IT TO THE TOP.

PET Scan and Selamat Hari Raya 2012

          Hi every one , its been a while. Time has endlessly passed by; day turning into night and back to day again. And I am still here every day !! Some great thing have happened which I need to share with all of you.
First and formost is the PET - CT scan which I did last week. The "GOLD" standard of cancer detection in the body ( there are some exceptions tho). The scan is clear with no signs of cancer in any part of the body. Which means I have a clean bill of health. I just need to repeat this for the next 5 years and then I will be clinically declared cancer free. At the moment I am in what is called remission. The taste buds are still AWOL but I am eating well. The weight has stablilised at 168 lb or 71kg's, not too bad I think.
         Today is the first day of Raya and I have been overwhelmed with SMS wishing me a great year a head. I thank every one for their kind thoughts. Most touching was from Kumar from Madras. My old school pal. We spent many periods at his Lorong Travers house in Penang.
         Uploaded a raya pic for everyone. Marisha spent her Raya in South America (Peru). So I took the opportunity to Photoshop the images together and make it into a family photo.
          There are many anonymous who have followed my journey and there are some who need encouragement along the way. My blog is open and my e-mail is available. Please share with me any concerns that you might have.

" The road is long, with many a winding turn 

That leads us to - who knows where, who knows where,

and so .....

It's a long, long road, from which there is no return 

While we're on the way to there, why not share"

Thanks guyz and SEALAMT HARI RAYA IDIL FITRI 2012.

6 months later......

Hi every one,
Its now 6 months since I started my tonsil cancer treatment. Its been a long arduous journey with many ups and downs. And now 6 months later I can only remember the good times. The last week has been an almost a great revelation that life is back to normal. I played in 2 golf competitions over 18 holes in the hot blazing sun and I am back to my normal facilitating CRM at work. The energy levels are back to where it should be.
My routine is 2 hours in the gym and swimming for 30-45 minutes in the mornings of my off days. THe afternoon is is relaxing and then followed by a round of golf at 1630 hrs for 9 holes.

The days that I work is an all day affair and so nothing gets done. This keeps me mentally occupied and physically consumed. I don't really mind it at all. Here is something that I did over the last week at the CRM instructors course. Check it out.
This is a 5 minute video on speaking skills that I demo during the class. Everyone has 5 minutes to do it. The 3 things that I look for is the story message , the visual message and the physical message.

Looking at this video and the previous video, I can see the difference in the facial appearance. This looks more like me 6 months ago albeit 15 kgs lighter !!. 

My medical review for  renewing my flying licence is getting nearer and nearer. I will have to show the medical review board that I am fully recovered from the effects of chemo and radiation. This needs to be supported by medical tests namely a PET scan, and ENT report and the usual ECG chest X-ray and audio-gram plus the full spectrum blood test. This I will have to do starting at the end of August or the beginning of September 2012. I hope all goes well. 

8 weeks later....

8 weeks later

              I have been getting many e-mails and calls asking if every thing is OK with my recovery and recuperation. I appreciate your concern for my well being and I am glad to pen today that I am in great shape physically and mentally. Just to justify that I have uploaded the latest pic of me. Check out my 5 min speech as well!!

             Its been 10weeks since I finish my radiation and chemo and how time flies. I am almost into daily routine now. Usually a workout in the gym, 30mins of cardio and 60mins of weights and strength building followed by 30 min of relaxed swimming. On alternate days I go cycling around the house for 30 mins. I have noticed the difference in my physic, more muscles and trimmer body. The weight has stabilised around 160 lbs or 74 kgs, almost an ideal BMI weight for my height. The evenings are reserved for golf (9 holes) that I play with Kat regularly. The rest of the night is exclusively for EURO2012 football till 2 am !!. Usually I watch the first match live and record the second game to view the next morning.

             I am back to work as well but not flying ...yet. I do about 10 days of classroom training for the pilots and the rest of the month is off. The flying can only be commenced when I do my pilots medical in September. Prior to that I will have to satisfy the medical board that I am fully fit and recovered from the the radiation and chemo. For that I need to show medical reports from my health providers and as well as a PET scan to show that the cancer is under control. This process is long winded and time consuming. Then I will need to reactivate my pilot license and further training in the simulators and actual cockpit flying. All in all it would take another 6 weeks or so. 

            So every one following me on this post, I am glad to say I am back to almost normal, save for my taste buds that are still missing and dry mouth that I will have to get used to for the rest of my life. Other than that life is almost back to normal.

I am going to upload some pic as I took just for the records. Have a great day every one.!

Lying on the MIRT Machine

The control room for IMRT radiation

Using lasers to align the body and the machine

Yes ! I am back to work...

          Finally the I crossed the finishing  line. There was no yellow jersey waiting of me to wear, no trophy to carry and no crowd to cheer. Its was an eerie silence. Chris and I had gone to see Dr Lum on the morning of the  2nd of MAY for the final check up. It was good news all over. The treatment had officially come to an end. The prognosis was good. The next appointment was 1 year away. The medical pesonal that I need to see on a regular basic from now are my dentist and ENT specialist. And that would be on a 6 and 4 monthly basis respectively. So that was it. By noon it was all over. Bye bye DSH ! and we drove home feeling rather elated and yet subdued. Elated because it was all over, especially for the care giver, Chris, and subdued because what the future holds. There is no guarantee in life I guess and I have learned this very very quickly and the hard way as well.. 
        My mind turned towards the CRM meeting scheduled for tomorrow. I was fit and eager to attend the meeting. Driving to the LCCT airport wasn't a problem as my vertigo has disappeared mysteriously as it appeared. So the wind direction changed and again I made a swift tack into wind. My goal was to continue where I had left off. 9 weeks of hiatus hasn't made my brains rusty. If fact it seemed to be recharged to engage the next challenge. My only worry is that I am not putting in enough exercise as I should. Well this will be my priority from this week onward. 

       I will take this opportunity to thank each and ever one of you for reading this blog, for your well wishes, concern, SMS, calls, prayers and support. I will wind down this blog and only update it as and when required. Anyone on the same journey that needs help and support please feel free to e-mail me and I will get in touch. Thank you all, with much love and affection...Shakil

             

CRM Team