1 week later......

      Hi every one ! I am in great spirits and eager to move on with this journey to its conclusion. The last few days (post radiation) was bad but things have surprisingly and dramatically improved. Firstly the black burnt skin has peeled to reveal a fresh layer. The healing process is very very itchy and so I have to apply the hydro-cortisone cream sparingly on the effected area. This can become a problem in the middle of the night when I am just too lazy to get out of bed to apply the cream and the easy option of scratching it with pleasure and pain combined takes the better of me.
     The real battle that I won was my pain management when swallowing. I have stopped all medication that the doc gave me for pain. I totally rely on hypnotherapy to overcome the pain and I do it myself. It took me a while to perfect it with good scripts and good mental visualisation and good self talk. Most of the resources are available on the internet. Basically it involves in getting the body to go into a deep relaxation mode by using the The Relaxation Response by Harvard Medical School professor Herbert Benson and Progressive relaxation technique by Dr. Edmund Jacobson. Combined with what Dr K had earlier suggested, it worked like a charm. I replaced the pain anticipation stimulus with a pleasure stimulus. The brain can be reprogrammed!!

     The pain in the throat has subsided quiet dramatically and it will be soon when I can start to eat semi solids. This will also give me back the weight that I lost and my fitness level. As soon as I eat well, I am embarking on a gym based regime to get back my muscles, strength and fitness..That's all for now. Bye

The 3 F's for cancer survival. FAITH, FAMILY,FRIENDS. I am blessed to have all 3. 

Thank you every one!!

The false finish line.....

                I made a big mistake thinking that I have crossed the finish line. Remember I wrote that there was no joy, no euphoria, no excitement. Well how truthfully has this been reflected in the last couples of days. My condition in the last 2 days has taken a turn for the worst. Eating is totally a nightmare. The pain in the throat is excruciating. Drinking is also a problem.Medication is not working.The opiate pain relief is making me vomit ( overdose of opium eh ehe). Talking is a torture. Man ...I am really down but not OUT.
               Dr Kat dropped by the house yesterday and we discussed various strategies to tackle the problem. Most of the medication seems to be giving me more side effects problems than solving. And so we talked about hypnotherapy in pain management. I had been interested in this subject since the late sixties I had learned the art of self hypnosis many many years ago.So it was now a matter of getting the correct script to use this method to stablise the pain. He gave me some ideas,imagery and self talk script to try out. And so last night I embarked on this method of pain management. Even in my poor script and poor mental imagery I was able to transform and over come the pain and eating was a bit more successful. I am over buoyed with the result. Will keep you all posted with further results. Meanwhile thank you to everyone who called, emailed, SMS and what not. I appreciate all your thoughts and concerns. Now let me try hypnosis again and drink the next meal that is sitting on the meal table. Cheers to all.

20th March Last day for Radiation. End of treatment

Burnt Black

20th of March should have been a day of celebration, achievement and triumph. And yet after my last radio therapy visit it was none of the above. I could hardly talk. I could hardly swallow. I was in pain. My throat was raw. My visit to Dr Lum was for pain management. Got some powerful pain relief tablets called OxyContin, some opiate based substance.The thing with radiation is, the effects are not immediate but its a slow release of side effects. The symptoms can go on for days and up to 2 weeks. So I see no respite from misery, at least for a while. The skin around my neck is black, yes black and now its starting to peel. This is another source of irritation. The only solace I get is that I don't have to make the morning journey to the radiology center. Thank God its all over !

4 more rads to go

          Today is the 15th day of March.,Ides of March as its called.Went for my usual radiotherapy this morning and the place was unusually quiet. Most of the usual people doing radiotherapy had finished their treatment. Mine will be finished next Tuesday ie 20th March. How 6 weeks has gone bye in a blink of an eye. The next 1 week too will fly by and then the post recovery period shall start. I don't really know what to expect in this post recovery period. I was told today the effects of radiation lasts up to 2 weeks and full recovery perhaps 2-6 months. Wow that a long period of time to go through!
         I am in good spirits and keeping an active interest in EPL and Champions League and what ever is shown on the sports channel. A bit of exercise eg walking around the garden or chipping golf balls. Nothing extraneous as I am afraid I need rest more than anything else. My weight has stabilized at 80 kg, so that's ok. Eating is still liquid 100%. My throat is still very very sore and swallowing is very difficult. That is why it takes me up to 30 minutes just to finish a bowl of soup. Never mind lah slow but sure I will finish it.
          Over the weekend met up with several old school mates who drop by to say hello and I really appreciate that. Somehow its the friends you make in school that remember you very well.

Almost there...7 more rads to go

           Today is Sat the 10th of March. The last week went unusually fast. The chemo days are behind me. But something strange stared to develop. Usually during chemo days the give me "Emend" the strong anti vomit pills. Since the effectiveness of the of pill is wearing off, I am beginning to have spells of uncontrolled vomit spasm. Its a very strange sensation. Once the spasm starts its difficult to control as it becomes automatic reflex. I found that deep breathing and soothing of the the upper chest muscles helps to calm the spasm down. Warm compress over the stomach also helps. Tried drinking warm water, and that worked too. So the whole of next week I will be facing another challenge. I hope my strategy works to see me through.
          Weight is now down to 79.5 kg. Not a good sign. Diet is almost liquid by now. The neck area is now really burning and black from radiation (like a bad sunburn). Other than that I am in pretty good shape. Will keep all of you posted as I reach the finishing line.

6 Chemos and 25 radiations later

                Hi every one, It's been 1 whole week of procrastinating. Period. Many logged in to check my progress or any news but were disappointed. I apologise for that, esp Marisha. "If paps has not updated, then something is wrong" I am pretty OK, that's the least I can say. Its been a grueling 4 weeks and finally I have finished my last chemo yesterday. Hurray !! And I have another 10 more radiation sessions to go. Yes 10 more sessions. All of you can do a count down for me.The last day will be 20th March 2012. So do send me a congratulatory message on that day!!

Meal replacement diet

               So how has it been the last week? Tired and drained. Sleeping a lot with weird dreams. Taste is non existent and my throat is dry and sore. Eating solids is out of the question. My diet is liquid,- clear soup, kuey tiow soup and more soup. To supplement the diet and to prevent further weight loss, I take Ensure three times a day. The weight has stabilised at 82.5kg for 3 days. So that is a pretty good sign.

Skin turns black

Skin loose under chin