Taking stock of the situation

                 Last night as I lay in bed reflecting on my progress, I figured that I needed to stop for a second and take stock of my situation. What is it that I am doing well and where do I need more attention. What is helping me through and what is dragging me down. I needed to answer this question " What is the problem now!" If I could define the problem accurately than half my solution is answered.
                The problem is appetite and eating. The problem is sore throat and difficult in swallowing. The problem is loosing weight excessively, if the fat is being reduced I don't mind but my muscle is getting eaten up, and that is not a good sign.( Muscle atrophy). The problem is dry mouth and poor saliva lubrication. The problem is tiredness and lack of energy.
                So having clarified the problem I started to look for ideas and possible solutions. It soon became apparent that this was basically a 2 fold problem. It is a physical and mental issue.The physical issue is directly related to me being under nourished and therefore the outcome is tiredness and lack of energy. The dry mouth and sore throat is manageable. Its the mental issue of eating and appetite.I needed a paradigm shift. I no longer can build an appetite using the old way of looking at food and relying on taste.I figured out that eating from now on will be solely for sustenance and prevent further deterioration of body mass. Eating was the secret to getting me through the next phase of treatment. I needed to come out of this in a better physical condition than I started.No point curing the cancer and inheriting a poor muscular skeleton frame. Eating had to take a significant and important role. So I decide that from now on eating is going to be my priority..           
  I got my wife involved in this issue. I asked her to shop around for a meal replacement formula. Do some research on the internet and talk to people. So off she went to the local pharmacy and had a lengthy talk to our pharmacist and came back with a can of Ensure. So from today on the game plan is to eat every hour, small amount at a time. I had to make a conscious decision that eating is no longer taste based but rather need based. The replacement diet will be twice a day, once in the morning and another before I go to bed. In between it will be soup, broth,fruits and soy bean curd.. So let me try this out and see I how I feel. Tomorrow is Monday my chemo day. The week starts all over again. Thanks for all the calls and visits to the house, I am feeling much better already. Love to all of you out there for helping me on. Bye